Dear Mildred, My husband isn't paying any attention to me!
I am so miserable and sad. He has made me so depressed,
all I want to do is lie in bed and cry. I've gained 40 lbs., I no longer wear make-up, and I go nowhere.
I'm stuck in a rut - help me, Mildred!
Signed, Deep in Detroit
Dear Deep: Girl, you'd better haul your butt out of the bed asap,
before you lose your man.
Why SHOULD he pay attention to you, when you're overweight, crying,
and unable to get out of bed.....good grief, woman!
Don't you realize that you've got to be alluring, captivating, and sexy?
Start an exercise program, slap some warpaint on, buy some negligees, and seduce your man - before you wind up in divorce court.
Sincerely, Mildred Pierce